My title here represents perhaps the root cause of my problems with the chapter. I didn't want to have to think about it. I was intent on reading while cooking, eating, listening, etc. It makes Parker Palmer tough going...
I'm going to focus this blog on a bit of discussion on page 74. He had just described his "debacle", and talks about the inclination to jump to the question "What could I have done differently?" It's not a bad question. I go there all the time. I'm a fixing machine! It gives us a way to recover and acknowledge value from any situation. Great! But PP says jumping to the question too soon allows us to evade insight into our identity. It's a huge opportunity, and a huge loss. I recognized this immediately when he pointed it out. I recognize that I don't care to stay in feeling bad and embarrassed and found-out. How I read PP is that examining the emotional experience is likely to tell me more about myself than going to analysis to find a more effective way to hide-out.
I liked his 6 paradoxical tensions. I liked his discussions on connections vs solitude. I loved that he had an entry from Small is Beautiful. I loved "where we - heart broken and ecstatic- can only resolve the conflict by taking it into our hearts."
I would like to discuss this work. Today, at least, I am an irresponsible blogger.
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Sara I had the same reaction to the section on exploring rather than fixing. I too like to jump to the solution. If there's a problem, I want to fix it. I think it comes from my desire to have everyone be happy all the time. So, I want to help others fix their problems and I REALLY want to find a solution when something I'm doing is making someone else unhappy. That said, I totally see the value in not seeking that solution ASAP. I'm also a proponent of treating the disease rather than the symptoms. Sometimes a band-aid just doesn't do what a little exploratory surgery will. Finding the root of the problem will always yield better, longer-lasting results.
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